Acceptance and Understanding

Happy Holidays! 

A few days ago, I read an article in which the male Author came down hard on women of color who do not choose to wear their hair "naturally" (without chemicals). My initial reaction was: "This is something he should discuss privately with the woman/women in his life, not the rest of us." It took me a minute to realize that I was reacting to something that really is not important in my life---the author's opinion.   Had to check myself, as I wasn't about to allow this guy to steal my joy!  I already know that no matter how many styles and ways I wear my hair----I am not my hair. I've gone from childhood braids to a beautiful Afro, perms, back to braids and twists.... from long to shoulder length to short-short! My styles were dependent upon
where I was in my life at any given point. Even though my husband helped, there were times when our work schedules were such that if I had to get my sons ready for school each morning, along with different extracurricular after school activities, there was a minimum amount of time to spend on my hair, so I chose to wear braids, twists and buns very often during their childhood. At this point in my life, with all sons now independent adults, I have plenty of time to spend on my hair......and I choose to wear it loose and natural most days. When I get a mind to, I might blow dry it or roller set it. But that only lasts a day or two before I get tired of it. I have never been one to sleep in hair rollers, and I am really feeling this Angela Davis/Chaka Khan look I have going on these days! Talk about easy-breezy! The bottom line is that I am so much more than my hair. And yet, I still think that the Author mentioned above needs to check his "mask". This posting is dedicated to him---wherever he is. 

Our Core Essence. Deep down we are all beautiful beings worthy of love and support---regardless of our hairstyle. The sweet innocence of babies and young children is a clear example of this. Yet for most of us, the shining essence with which we came into this life became obscured over the years as our family and others were unable to give us the kind of unconditional love and support we so craved. As children, when we were repeatedly told that we were not good enough or were punished just for being who we are, thick layers of confusion and doubt developed, clouding our divine essence. Layers of fear and insecurity were woven into our personalities.

The Mask. By the time we are grown, most of us have developed a protective mask or persona to hide these layers of fear and insecurity from others, and at times even from ourselves. Outwardly we might appear happy or content, yet on the inside most of us to varying degrees feel unhappy with who we are. Yet beneath it all, that shining essence is still there. No matter how much we may have forgotten, no matter how thick those overshadowing layers may be, our beautiful core essence is and has always been there.

Accepting and Understanding Myself. By choosing to accept and understand all of who you are—both your deep shining essence and the layers of dark clouds within—you can invite that beautiful inner essence to shine through the clouds and to shine again in your life. When fears, dark thoughts, or difficult emotions arise, first choose to accept that they are there. Then work towards understanding these dark clouds and where they came from. Ask for divine guidance as you explore and transform these dark places.

Courage. It takes courage to accept and work to understand our fears and weaknesses. Yet by doing our best to be fully ourselves in all our strengths and weaknesses, our relationships can grow richer, deeper, and more meaningful. This may be challenging, as some people are unable or unwilling to accept certain parts of us. Yet as those around us see us becoming more real and honest with them, many will also be inspired to be more real and honest with us. Thus, instead of continually avoiding or denying those clouds or dark layers in both ourselves and others, we open to a deeper, more authentic way of living and of relating to others.

Accepting and Understanding Others. As you develop greater acceptance and understanding of yourself, you will notice that others, too, have lost touch with their shining core essence. As you work to accept and understand yourself, it is most important that you choose also to give this gift to those around you. Acceptance of what is, coupled with understanding of what we can change and what we cannot, allows us to find the courage to be all that we can be, and to empower others in doing the same.

Those qualities listed above are what truly defines us. Not our many natural or relaxed hair styles. We're beautiful. Period.




This is our last posting of 2012.  We'll be back in January 2013.  Happy Holidays!

Established to show the possibilities of healthy living while building better businesses, the Healthy Hair Source provides current news that promote healthy solutions for hair, skin and health care issues. This original post is on Dolle House Healthy Hair Source © copyright, 2012. Share it freely, but you must link back to this source. If you would like more information on any of our topics, please indicate that in your comments. Thanks for reading! Best Regards, Admin