How often have you heard a group of women each bashing their significant other (co-signing each others' complaints) in some way, sounding as if they’re already one foot out the door of the relationship? “He’s a liar! He’s a cheater!” Well, what about you? It can’t always be the man’s fault. Ladies....let’s stop playing The Blame Game and take a little responsibility for our own actions. Why is it that we don’t like to look within to pinpoint some of our own faults? Maybe we all have this princess complex that we’ve carried around since childhood, feeling entitled to the world, and are left feeling disappointed when a man offers us anything less than. I can name off at least five common faults (aka "the enemy" at work) off the top of my head that most women---including myself--- have possessed at some point in time:
* Whining/Freak Outs: This never works. We make ourselves a non-factor when we zero in on ONE thing that bothers us and explain (read: "complain") to our man over and over about whatever IT is. You may think you’re "communicating" by bringing IT up repeatedly, but at some point....he stops listening. And he may never tell you that he wishes you would just stop whining.
* Pressure–We forget to have fun and relax in relationships sometimes and end up putting pressure on the dude to commit. He may have been fully ready to do so, but our pushing left a sour taste in his mouth.
* The Accuser–These are the ones that are typically the Robocops–stalking their man’s Twitter, Facebook, Emails or Blackberry, ready to pounce on him for any glimpse of an interaction with another woman. This always drives a man away.
* Mistrust–You tell him you can trust him, but you don’t. You almost fall in line with the Accuser. You start coming up with conspiracy theories as to why whatever he says can’t be trusted.
* Control Freak–From his clothes, to his friends, to the relationship as a whole, you will not allow yourself to compromise with him. It’s your way or no way. There's no way a man can take that for too long. We have to allow ourselves some type of vulnerability on both sides.
Saying all of this is not to say that men get off a free-ride (see disclaimer below). Sometimes, they do things that cause us to walk away, but at times, it can be our fault. Typically women choose to play the victim when it comes to love and failed relationships, then (because it's so easy to do?) we blame men for everything.....even our own feelings.
When you really look at it, no one ---men included---wants to feel at fault, so they avoid the guilt by blaming the other. Fault means failure and these days, with everyone so focused on winning, The Blame Game may become a perpetual problem in relationships. Seeing our own faults is often difficult, but it’s not impossible. We should all try a little harder to hold ourselves to the same standard that we do with our significant other. If you’re judging them, judge yourself. Game over.
Dolle's Disclaimer: While this article focus' on what the ladies can do to eliminate some relationship problems, for the most part THE MAN in a relationship controls the direction of the relationship. If he wants to keep the relationship together----that is what he does, thru thick and thin. If he wants it to end----he ends it. Of course, the relationship works out different when the woman is a alpha female, or the male is a pushover.
Most women tend to blame ourselves for relationship mishaps when the writing is already on the wall. He cheats, beats, verbally abuses or all of the above and we make up numerous excuses for it. After awhile maybe (it may take years!), we start to become bitter. That’s when the blame game comes in. In most cases, before a woman blames her man.....she blames herself.
* Whining/Freak Outs: This never works. We make ourselves a non-factor when we zero in on ONE thing that bothers us and explain (read: "complain") to our man over and over about whatever IT is. You may think you’re "communicating" by bringing IT up repeatedly, but at some point....he stops listening. And he may never tell you that he wishes you would just stop whining.
* Pressure–We forget to have fun and relax in relationships sometimes and end up putting pressure on the dude to commit. He may have been fully ready to do so, but our pushing left a sour taste in his mouth.
* The Accuser–These are the ones that are typically the Robocops–stalking their man’s Twitter, Facebook, Emails or Blackberry, ready to pounce on him for any glimpse of an interaction with another woman. This always drives a man away.
* Mistrust–You tell him you can trust him, but you don’t. You almost fall in line with the Accuser. You start coming up with conspiracy theories as to why whatever he says can’t be trusted.
* Control Freak–From his clothes, to his friends, to the relationship as a whole, you will not allow yourself to compromise with him. It’s your way or no way. There's no way a man can take that for too long. We have to allow ourselves some type of vulnerability on both sides.
Saying all of this is not to say that men get off a free-ride (see disclaimer below). Sometimes, they do things that cause us to walk away, but at times, it can be our fault. Typically women choose to play the victim when it comes to love and failed relationships, then (because it's so easy to do?) we blame men for everything.....even our own feelings.
When you really look at it, no one ---men included---wants to feel at fault, so they avoid the guilt by blaming the other. Fault means failure and these days, with everyone so focused on winning, The Blame Game may become a perpetual problem in relationships. Seeing our own faults is often difficult, but it’s not impossible. We should all try a little harder to hold ourselves to the same standard that we do with our significant other. If you’re judging them, judge yourself. Game over.
Dolle's Disclaimer: While this article focus' on what the ladies can do to eliminate some relationship problems, for the most part THE MAN in a relationship controls the direction of the relationship. If he wants to keep the relationship together----that is what he does, thru thick and thin. If he wants it to end----he ends it. Of course, the relationship works out different when the woman is a alpha female, or the male is a pushover.
Most women tend to blame ourselves for relationship mishaps when the writing is already on the wall. He cheats, beats, verbally abuses or all of the above and we make up numerous excuses for it. After awhile maybe (it may take years!), we start to become bitter. That’s when the blame game comes in. In most cases, before a woman blames her man.....she blames herself.
Written Under: (pseudonym) @Rhapso_DY
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